feeling sorry for myself

Is that o.k. every once in while... or should I toss the pitty party and man up...LOL.. I sit here tonight feeling a little sorry for myself.. first of all I have noticed I don't blog nearly as much as I used to... and need to get back in to it... tonight I was looking back at videos of josiah when he was a little one... all the funny and firsts ... and I couldn't help but get a little sad.. thinking that in about 5 months we would have had another lil one in the house... and all the firsts, and the chunky legs... etc etc.. etc... I wonder what he or she would have looked like, was it a boy or a girl.. stuff like that... I know that whats meant to be is meant to be... and some time life gets ahead of you and you don't have time to mourn, or be sad.. but tonight I had that moment... and I'm not going to lie it hurts.. dont get me wrong... I love all my kids in all their own unique ways... but there is just something about a lil one.. that make your heart melt... well that was just the beginning of my pitty party... then this evening .. my husbands cousin ( that we barely found out they were related .. and we are neighbors.. well they came over tonight.. and we just chit-chatted for a few hours.. and I loved it... it was so nice.. like I didn't want it to end... I miss not being be family... my kids don't have cousins to play with, no sunday meals together, no afternoon lunch dates, or shopping trips... all that stuff... I miss all our family... and wish they all lived closer.... it's so nice to know that we have a lil family here .. and have been doing stuff with them.. tonight was great .. and hope we can do it more often.. anyways.. I am feeling better,, maybe I just needed to vent... I have been searching lately for family... because I was never close with certain family but always new they were out there... I found some 1st cousins... that didn't even know about me... it has been great to come and contact with.... I am hoping to find more family... anyways it's late.. so im off to la la land.... nite blogger world... =)
P.S. any mis spellings I blame on the time....

my silly little boy sleeping to music... hmmm I wonder what he was listening too.... LOL

Buzz and Beiber

Yesterday Josiah and I tagged along with Kala's girl scout troop to Hollywood....we left at 7am and didn't get to Hollywood till 11am due to a major accident which involved to big rigs... it was a horrible sight... anyways we got down there just in time for a backstage tour of the El capitan theater.. followed by the screening of Toy Story 3 in 3D.... what a cute movie... after that we walked over to Hollywood high school to play in the toy story fun zone.... it was so fun .. and toy story themed... all the toys, rides and all.... Josiah was in aww... to shake the hand of his fav... buzz light year... all the girls ran around and had fun.. after that we went to dinner at the soda fountain.. which is the restaurant at El Capitan... I was surprised to find out that they serve dewars ice cream!! after that we took the girls to the car where they opened a gift it was a personalized beiber shirt.. letting them know at that moment they were being whisked away to the Justin Beiber concert...how fun!! they girls were screaming with excitement... we headed to the Nokia theater... it was nuts... 2 hours of non stop girls screaming there heads off... LOL... and can you believe Josiah slept through the whole thing...LOL... it was so funny because .. everytime he would do a dance move... or put a hat on.. the girls would scream louder and louder.. I was like was I that crazy....?? of course I was....!! LOL.. so after that we went to a late night dinner at Dennys.. then headed home and got home at 2am... it was a great fun day.. for the girls, Josiah and I

Toy Story Flashbacks........

My 2 year old is obsessed with Toy story, especially Buzz light year, today his aunty bought him a buzz light year .. and he is loving it.... I couldn't help but get a flashback... when he was flying buzz around the room.... because the original Toy Story came out in 1995 when my first born Tyler was just 2 years old.. and he too was all into it... loving buzz light year and all... I can't believe that was 15 years ago... =( my lil boy is all grown up... and I have a lil one running around still ..LOL...

overdue randomness!!

So I haven't posted in a while... as usual... It is summer here in the Manu home...so far we haven't done much of anything.... and that is because I am in school this summer... so I really can't go anywhere at this point... The kids are helping me out alot... and then after July 14th I will be able to enjoy summer with them. Tyler is also in summer school... taking P.E...really not much going on.... so I will just share some pics......
this here is a cake the Kala and I made on Sunday... it had banana pudding in the middle... yummo!!!
new outfit, new hair cut, wiped out after church.....this is what he does every Sunday when we come home... he gets worn out in nursery.. LOL
Brotherly love... watching Toy Story together... I love moments like these.....
I went to a wedding reception and this flew on to the center piece..... I had to take a pic...
We went to Tulure so my son could take his SAT's .. .because they had no openings in Bako... so while he was testing we went to the park and to the shopping outlets... loved the park beacause it was covered and gated....
Kala and her friend Cassidy at the park can you believe they are the same age... my daughter is always the tallest amongest her friends....
Kala recently bridged from a Junior in girl scouts to a cadette.. she has been in it since she was a Daisy.. this is something she loves... and is about to earn her bronze award....
This little boy right here has quite the lil personality... this is him telling us to leave him alone because he is listening to his daddy's Ipod.... funny kid
Tyler being a monkey at our local park..... yes I was nervous he was going to fall....
Kala at our newly remodeled park... we love it there... and was going like everyday... til it got hot....!!
OK this is so random... one day I was making some eggs... and I turned away after cracking them and putting them in the pan.. next thing I know I am going to check on the eggs .. and they are smiling back at me.....I didn't do anything to the eggs... promise... LOL...
um ya we are working on coloring on paper... not walls and self.....

Thinking ahead.....

" raising children is the easy part, it's letting them go that is the hardest" Author me... unless someone already said it...LOL

With the school year coming to an end we are surrounded by many happy children. Some are happy about having a summer vacation.. and many are excited about being done with this part of their life and about to graduate... either way we are surrounded by it all. Well for me all I have been thinking about is this means my kids are getting older. Jayden will be going in to the 5th grade.. which is not so bad... but then it gets harder... thinking about my daughter going in to the 6th grade, which means only one more year of elementary school... and also means she will be moving up to young women at church and not in primary anymore... and that is just really hard for me to except... my little girl is growing up... so now for the biggest thing that has been on my mind... is that exactly one year from now my son, my first born, my baby... will be graduating from high school... and that I just can't deal with... I can still remember the day I walked him to his first day of kindergarten with his rugrats backpack and all... and now I will be taking him to take his SAT's in a couple of weeks.. I just can't believe it.... so this brings me to my quote... " raising children is the easy part, it's letting them go that is the hardest" I have been thinking lately that raising them and have them under your wing.. is a piece of cake compared to letting go of them and entering them into the real world... you start thinking about what you could have done differently with them.. and how you could have been a better parent... and how are they going to be when they are finally out under your wing and flying for them selves... this has been very hard for me... we want to protect our children but we can't always do that especially when they are an adult... it just makes you think a lot.. about when they were little it is so much easier .. ya they cry and fus, act up.. don't listen... etc... but I would take that any day over the other rebellious possibilities that your child can get into as they get older and the other things they are faced with as a they get older.. it is a scary world out there... and I just want to protect them forever....So this next year is going to be tough from me as we prepare our first born for one of the biggest days of his life... graduation day...

the pink boxing glove....

Last weekend we went to the relay for life here in Bakersfield. We walked about 6 hours in honor of those suffering or lost their battle with cancer. As we walked there we saw lots of booths set up with things to buy and to wear that not only represented but raised money for cancer.. My kids got a bracelet and Kala got a bow for her hair. I didn't quite see anything that caught my eye. Then I cam across " the pink boxing glove" it is a little key chain that has a cute pink boxing glove hanging on it. I thought to my self PERFECT. I want that. the main reason is because growing up my initials were T.K.O. " which in boxing lingo that is "technical knock out". anyways we left and I found a perfect spot for it. on my rear view mirror!! I added it to a very special key chain that my aunt gave my who passed away that i refuse to take down. anyways I thought to myself is this silly to have this hanging here... ?? well I was having a bad day last week and I got in my car as I do everyday to face the world and the first thing I looked at at was that pink boxing glove!! and a thought came to me.. If all those men, women, and children can face and fight cancer well then I can face anything that comes my way!! what ever it may be that I am facing that particular day I can fight it and get through it!!! The boxing glove, or bracelet, or ribbon, t shirt etc. represents there fight for cancer and helps them get through it. Well what helps me get through things is my love and faith for the gospel. That glove I see everyday as I get in my car and face the world with what ever problems I may be having represents the gospel and my faith to help my get through the day.... now on with my story... as I stated in my last post we were expecting, well I had some complications and long story short I believe that Heavenly father had greater plans for our lil baby to be, and knowing that will help me to heal trough this sad moment in my life. There are so many obstacles and trials that we face each day some harder than others. But if you have faith and love for our Savior than you can fight through it!! I think that everyone should have " a pink boxing glove in their life......

Guess what???

We found out recently what one of our Christmas presents is going to be.... by far the best Christmas present ever........... its going to be a baby.... that's right.... he or she is due to arrive around December 21st...... we couldn't be more blessed for this newest addition to join our family..... =)