P.S. any mis spellings I blame on the time....
my silly little boy sleeping to music... hmmm I wonder what he was listening too.... LOL
Trip to Mangrove
10 years ago
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
feeling sorry for myself
Is that o.k. every once in while... or should I toss the pitty party and man up...LOL.. I sit here tonight feeling a little sorry for myself.. first of all I have noticed I don't blog nearly as much as I used to... and need to get back in to it... tonight I was looking back at videos of josiah when he was a little one... all the funny and firsts ... and I couldn't help but get a little sad.. thinking that in about 5 months we would have had another lil one in the house... and all the firsts, and the chunky legs... etc etc.. etc... I wonder what he or she would have looked like, was it a boy or a girl.. stuff like that... I know that whats meant to be is meant to be... and some time life gets ahead of you and you don't have time to mourn, or be sad.. but tonight I had that moment... and I'm not going to lie it hurts.. dont get me wrong... I love all my kids in all their own unique ways... but there is just something about a lil one.. that make your heart melt... well that was just the beginning of my pitty party... then this evening .. my husbands cousin ( that we barely found out they were related .. and we are neighbors.. well they came over tonight.. and we just chit-chatted for a few hours.. and I loved it... it was so nice.. like I didn't want it to end... I miss not being be family... my kids don't have cousins to play with, no sunday meals together, no afternoon lunch dates, or shopping trips... all that stuff... I miss all our family... and wish they all lived closer.... it's so nice to know that we have a lil family here .. and have been doing stuff with them.. tonight was great .. and hope we can do it more often.. anyways.. I am feeling better,, maybe I just needed to vent... I have been searching lately for family... because I was never close with certain family but always new they were out there... I found some 1st cousins... that didn't even know about me... it has been great to come and contact with.... I am hoping to find more family... anyways it's late.. so im off to la la land.... nite blogger world... =)
P.S. any mis spellings I blame on the time....
my silly little boy sleeping to music... hmmm I wonder what he was listening too.... LOL
P.S. any mis spellings I blame on the time....
my silly little boy sleeping to music... hmmm I wonder what he was listening too.... LOL
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4 comments:
With time your heart will no longer grieve the way it does now and the sadness you feel will not be as strong. When you pass that "due date" mark it will get better but for now take let yourself grieve, your loss was a great one and when you allow yourself to think about it and grieve for your little one your heart grows stronger and heals itself. You will never forget your experience and the Lord will never forget you - turn to him and he will comfort you when the sadness becomes unbearable. I'm glad you have Ofa to talk to, she's a good woman and a great friend. *HUGS*
It's okay to mourn losses. If you didn't you wouldn't have love. You loved that little one before even knowing him or her. You love your family near and far and it is hard to be away. The joy of eternity will be that we can be with our family always without the separation of time and miles. My love to you!
I just found your blog! Aww Tiff I hope you guys know that you are always welcome to come over anytime and hang out!! We LOVE you guys and literaly come over ANY time!! (the way you talked about a little baby kinda made me want another one) Dont tell Tyler!
I am home all day long! I will have lunch dates and shopping with you!!! Paul and I LOVE you guys!
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