feeling sorry for myself

Is that o.k. every once in while... or should I toss the pitty party and man up...LOL.. I sit here tonight feeling a little sorry for myself.. first of all I have noticed I don't blog nearly as much as I used to... and need to get back in to it... tonight I was looking back at videos of josiah when he was a little one... all the funny and firsts ... and I couldn't help but get a little sad.. thinking that in about 5 months we would have had another lil one in the house... and all the firsts, and the chunky legs... etc etc.. etc... I wonder what he or she would have looked like, was it a boy or a girl.. stuff like that... I know that whats meant to be is meant to be... and some time life gets ahead of you and you don't have time to mourn, or be sad.. but tonight I had that moment... and I'm not going to lie it hurts.. dont get me wrong... I love all my kids in all their own unique ways... but there is just something about a lil one.. that make your heart melt... well that was just the beginning of my pitty party... then this evening .. my husbands cousin ( that we barely found out they were related .. and we are neighbors.. well they came over tonight.. and we just chit-chatted for a few hours.. and I loved it... it was so nice.. like I didn't want it to end... I miss not being be family... my kids don't have cousins to play with, no sunday meals together, no afternoon lunch dates, or shopping trips... all that stuff... I miss all our family... and wish they all lived closer.... it's so nice to know that we have a lil family here .. and have been doing stuff with them.. tonight was great .. and hope we can do it more often.. anyways.. I am feeling better,, maybe I just needed to vent... I have been searching lately for family... because I was never close with certain family but always new they were out there... I found some 1st cousins... that didn't even know about me... it has been great to come and contact with.... I am hoping to find more family... anyways it's late.. so im off to la la land.... nite blogger world... =)
P.S. any mis spellings I blame on the time....

my silly little boy sleeping to music... hmmm I wonder what he was listening too.... LOL

Buzz and Beiber

Yesterday Josiah and I tagged along with Kala's girl scout troop to Hollywood....we left at 7am and didn't get to Hollywood till 11am due to a major accident which involved to big rigs... it was a horrible sight... anyways we got down there just in time for a backstage tour of the El capitan theater.. followed by the screening of Toy Story 3 in 3D.... what a cute movie... after that we walked over to Hollywood high school to play in the toy story fun zone.... it was so fun .. and toy story themed... all the toys, rides and all.... Josiah was in aww... to shake the hand of his fav... buzz light year... all the girls ran around and had fun.. after that we went to dinner at the soda fountain.. which is the restaurant at El Capitan... I was surprised to find out that they serve dewars ice cream!! after that we took the girls to the car where they opened a gift it was a personalized beiber shirt.. letting them know at that moment they were being whisked away to the Justin Beiber concert...how fun!! they girls were screaming with excitement... we headed to the Nokia theater... it was nuts... 2 hours of non stop girls screaming there heads off... LOL... and can you believe Josiah slept through the whole thing...LOL... it was so funny because .. everytime he would do a dance move... or put a hat on.. the girls would scream louder and louder.. I was like was I that crazy....?? of course I was....!! LOL.. so after that we went to a late night dinner at Dennys.. then headed home and got home at 2am... it was a great fun day.. for the girls, Josiah and I

Toy Story Flashbacks........

My 2 year old is obsessed with Toy story, especially Buzz light year, today his aunty bought him a buzz light year .. and he is loving it.... I couldn't help but get a flashback... when he was flying buzz around the room.... because the original Toy Story came out in 1995 when my first born Tyler was just 2 years old.. and he too was all into it... loving buzz light year and all... I can't believe that was 15 years ago... =( my lil boy is all grown up... and I have a lil one running around still ..LOL...